heart-to-heart

I'm doing this post in the form of a script because shut up.

Every one else was asleep. I was keeping watch. Crow decided to wake up and talk to me. He had some stuff on his mind.

C; Hey man.
M; What are you doing up?
C; Had some things I needed to get off my chest. Good thing I have a hundred and one internal alarm clocks.
M; Yeah, you can get away with calling them clocks, but heaven forbid someone says they're birds.
C; Very funny dude.
M; You're still upset about Alexis, aren't you.
C; I loved her.
M; Amazing how even someone without a heart can have feelings for someone else.
C; I may not have my own heart, but I have a hundred and one tiny hearts that beat three hundred and forty five times per minute.
M; Of course.
C; What about you? Do you still have a heart?
M; I'm not sure at this point. Maybe I do, but it doesn't feel like it.
C; HELLFIRE's gone, right?
M; It's not possessing me anymore, if that's what you're asking.
C; Then why are you still doubting yourself?
M; Because the stronger I become, the greater my darkness gets. I've been denying it, but I can't fool myself forever. My darkness has been growing since the beginning. HELLFIRE just sped up the process.
C; Darkness can be overcome.
M; Not easily.
C; Keep up the self hatred, and She'll get you.
M; You mean the Lamia, right?
C; I know you see her. She invades your reflection, does she not?
M; Yes.
C; You can't keep fearing your inner darkness. You'll have to come to terms with it eventually.
M; And what if I become a monster! If the darkness spreads too far, I'll be no better than the other Fears!
C; Then you'll need to find your own light.
M; And where do you suggest I look?
C; That's up to you. My light was extinguished recently. I may never be able to replace it.

His words reached me, loud and clear. I looked over to where Myrir was sleeping.

C; She cares about you, you know.
M; I know. But she's a proxy. I've sworn to fight her kind.
C; She became a proxy because of you. She didn't want to die by the hands of your true enemies.
M; My true enemies?
C; The Archive. You hate them more than anything, right?
M; How do you know all this?
C; Easy, I just read your fucking blog.
M; Right, that.
C; What happened to Damien?
M; Why do you ask?
C; He was in the Archive with you. A martyr. Did you ever see him again after that... incident.
M; I'd rather not talk about it.
C; There's something I need to tell you.
M; And what would that be?
C; The Convocation knows something about you and your powers. They won't tell me what it is, but I know it's important.
M; Is it about the Vision?
C; I don't know. They won't talk.
M; I'll find the answer myself then. And who know, maybe I'll find my light on the way there.
C; I'm going back to bed now. But first, There's one last thing I want you to know.
M; Yes?
C; I know we'll be marching into war soon, but try not to die. You still owe me a death match.
M; Sure thing. Just get in line behind Hiroshi, Ren and Quan.
C; Heh. See you later.

That was the conversation. I don't know if I'll be able to overcome the ever-growing darkness inside me. I don't know what the Vision is or what it has to do with me and the Game Master. But I have to keep going. I just hope I don't give in to the darkness before I find my answers.